Why Taking the Mask Off is Essential for our Mental Health

In a world that applauds the polished, the put together, and the perfectly filtered, taking off the mask can feel like the bravest and sometimes scariest thing we will ever do. I know that from this past year. There are episodes that I’ve written that my heart rate has increased as I typed, because I didn’t want to have to be the one that said it, but I knew it had to be said.

Like Episode 19: Unmasking My Biggest Regret - Wasted Conversation where I shared about my life mentors tragic death. That episode took me at least four months and an unlimited amount of drafts to finally complete a finalized version that I was ready to record and release.

The absolute truth is that if you would have told me in October of 2024 that I would be hosting a podcast and returning to the world of blogging, I would have rolled my eyes at you and laughed telling you that you were absolutely delusional. I didn’t set out at the beginning of the year wanting any of this. I’ve never wanted to be a podcaster. I enjoy listening to them, but never desired to be one. I’m not someone who seeks fame or desires to be on the stage where all eyes are on me. My loud boisterous laugh in rooms does that more than enough from time to time, and that attention is way more than I desire. The truth is, this past year, all of this found me. I plan to unmask it more in the upcoming episodes as I continue to shed my mask and hopefully encourage others to do so as well.

I find it so funny, I’ve been asked, “Where have you been?” and “Why haven’t you been around more for us to get to know you?” more in the last few months. Those who are involved in my local school community know me, and the industry that I worked in knew me, but I just didn’t seek to be known. That’s not at all in line with my character. I seek to serve, not to be seen, and I’ve done a really great job at it so far.

But, something happened to me in October of 2024 when I knew a change had to be made, so I started down the road toward that change, and the rest…. well… it just transpired along the way.

BUT, if there is one thing I’ve learned in my own journey this past year, it is this:

Our healing begins where our pretending ends.

Honestly, I wasn’t pretending, I just also wasn’t allowing myself to be truly seen…. fully…. completely…. I’m a private person and very independent, so the thought of me taking my mask off and letting others in still causes my heart to race. I’ve always been a voice of reason to my friends, and one that receives calls for direction, prayer and guidance as those times are needed in others lives. I honestly think it’s because everyone knows I’m a HUGE fan of therapy and they use the fact that I’ve learned so much in life to be free advice for them to receive. Whatever the case is, I’m thankful that my friends know they can always call and count on me to have a heart-led conversation that’s real, authentic, and honest.

As we step into a brand new season for the podcast, I am excited to share that this blog is the beginning of something special that’s unfolding. One of the new offerings I’ll be bringing froward this year is a dedicated space to explore the stories and moments that move us. Here, I will take a deeper look at the episodes that touch our hearts, revisit conversations that deserve more time, and open the door to additional reflection points that can support your healing and growth. Think of this as the extended journey, the heart work that happens after the episode ends from time to time.

I have to be honest, all this talk about unmasking this past year and self reflection has sent my mind wandering back to the days of MySpace. Do you remember that era when we all suddenly became overnight HTML coding geniuses without even realizing it? Changing backgrounds, adding sparkles, inserting music that played the moment someone visited your page, and OH MY the drama and calls/text/DMs that would unfold if someone was all of a sudden dropped from the “Top 8” friends on a page. AHHHHH the good ole days! But one of my favorite parts of MySpace was the blog feature. The place where we wrote freely, shared openly, and let pieces of our young hearts spill out onto the screen. In many ways, this space feels like a return to that freedom for me. Only now, I’m older and wiser - the words are deeper, the purpose is more clear, and the reflections mean so much more. I am excited to bring that same spirit here as we build this new blog space together.

If you want to stay connected as we grow this space, I invite you to subscribe to the notifications on our website. You will be the first to know when new topics, reflections, and heart to heart conversations are added. This movement is expanding, and I am honored you are here at the beginning of it with me.

So, Why Are We Wearing Mask in the First Place?

Well, that’s a great question, friend, and I’m so glad you asked! Most of us do not wake up and purposely decide to pick up our mask and wear it throughout the day. We don’t intentionally want to hide. It just happens slowly over time.

We wear the mask because we think we have to so that we can be:
- the strong one
- the stable one
- the successful one
- the one who does not break
- the one who keeps it together even when everything inside is falling apart.

Some masks form from survival. Trauma that we’ve faced that we don’t want the world to ever know about.

Some from expectations from others. So that we are able to fit in and go with the flow. It helps us blend in the crowd and not be spotted or call attention to ourselves.

Some from childhood. Due to lessons in life where we were told to act and speak a certain way in order to be accepted. Many of us picked up our masks for the first time as a child from a true desire to fit in.

Some from fear that if people saw the real us what we have lost, what we are struggling with, what we are still healing from they would walk away.

And yet keeping the mask on comes at a cost.

We lose pieces of ourselves trying to maintain an image that was never meant to hold all of who we are.

The Mental Health Toll of Pretending

One of the reasons I am passionate about unmasking is because I have lived the weight of pretending, and realized how trying to pretend caused more harm for me personally than being authentic ever truly did. I tried to fit in a box that I was never supposed to be placed in and that weight was very heavy for me to carry and doing so caused the authentic pieces of me to fade away…. I would find myself looking in the mirror and not recognizing myself anymore. Trying to remember what authentic me really looked like. Not being able to answer that real authentic question of “what do I want out of life?”

I think back to 2020, when I was building TrueLove Designs (our personalized printing and custom branding shop) from scratch during a global shutdown at my kitchen table surrounded by shipping labels, wonder mixed with fear and doubt, and the type of exhausting I could not even begin to put into words. On one hand I was so truly proud of the work I had done to build a brand that was recognized internationally. But, I was also scared, overwhelmed, and stretched incredibly thin as I was working a full time job while I built the brand. Those were the part I did not talk about at the time. I hid them behind the mask, and pretended that everything was rainbows and gumdrops.

And that is exactly where the mental health crack began to rear it’s ugly head. The truth is

When we…
- carry pressure quietly
- hide our fears
- downplay our struggles
- smile through burnout
- push through grief
- pretend we are fine when we are not

We are silently teaching ourselves that we do not deserve support unless we are flawless.

But, why do we buy into that lie? When the truth is so much easier to accept.

The truth is…

Every hidden emotion becomes a room we lock ourselves in.

Every mask we wear is another layer between us and the healing we desperately need.

Unmasking is not just a metaphor. It is a mental health necessity.

The Magic That Happens When We Unmask

Something powerful happens when we tell the TRUTH not the polished version, but the real authentic one.

We discover that…
- we are not the only ones who have broken down and cried on the bathroom floor (Yes, friend, I’ve done it too!)
- we are not the only ones who have questioned our life choices at three in the morning (Yes, friend, I’ve done it too!)
- we are not the only ones who have felt stuck, lost, burned out, or not enough (Yes, friend, I’ve done it too!)
- we are not the only one who are still trying to figure out what they want in life (Yes, friend, you guessed it, I’ve done it too!)

People do not connect to the highlight reels on social media.

They connect to the PROCESS - the messy middle parts of life that aren’t so glamorous, but are truly authentic and REAL!

Your vulnerability becomes someone else’s permission slip to also be vunerable.

Your honesty becomes someone else’s courage to also truly exhale and find the courage to be authentic and honest too.

Your unmasking becomes someone else’s desire to finally seek the healing they so desperately need.

Why I Believe This Movement Truly Matters

Unmasking the Heart for Change is more than just a podcast to me.

It’s a mirror that reflects who I truly am!!!
It’s not a super glamorous podcast with fancy sets, and camera angles that bounce back and forth while I’m talking to the camera. There’s plenty of wonderful spaces that already do that, and I love that for them. It’s just not who I desire to be. I want to be the person that looks into the camera and says, “are you looking for a place that you can be an absolute complete hot mess, and yet still feel welcomed, accepted, and loved???” GREAT, friend!!!! Welcome home!!!

It’s a movements that invites others to step into their truth!!!
As I fully and authentically step into mine! A place where we dare to dream bigger, challenge ourselves to go further, and yet hold space for grace when things didn’t go as planned. Accepting the fact that sometimes what may look like failure to others is actual divine redirection saving us from something that the authentic version of ourselves didn’t truly want in the first place.

And for me, it’s a home, a place where my heart can finally exhale!!!
And friend, I invite you in, and whole heartedly welcome you to do the same. Knowing the freedom that it has given to me, is also in store for you just on the other side of setting that mask down, and finding a way to walk away from it once and for all!

I’ve created this space to talk about the things in life that matter most to me, and you…
- the transition seasons of life that are often messy
- the identity questions when we are truly looking to discover who we really are
- the burnout that may feel like failure but is often divine intervention
- the purpose that rises out of pain as we seek to healed those wounded versions of ourselves
- the healing that takes time and space, yet deserves to be honored and treated with grace
- the mental health impact of trying to be everything to everyone, not realizing that in doing so we are losing ourselves along the way.

What I’ve realized this year is that the messy middle parts of life deserve a microphone too!!!

Your Story Matters Even If You Are Still Writing It

If you are in a season where
… you are waiting
… you are wondering
… you are unraveling
… you are rebuilding
… you are questioning
… you are grieving
… you are growing

Then, friend, YOU BELONG HERE!!!

You do not have to rush the process.
That countdown timer that you think you hear is in your head alone! None of us hear that! Only you! So throw that thing in the trash and give yourself grace.

You do not have to have it all figured out.
If you think I have it figured out, you are highly mistaken! I’m simply open to listening and taking the next step and trusting that when I place my foot down, something will be there for me to stand on. So far, it’s proven to have worked all year long and has taken me places I never dreamt possible, and allowed me to meet people I would have never met had I not taken the step forward.

You most certainly do not have to face your mental health journey alone.
I’ve been very open and honest about being in therapy, journaling, and all the ways I’ve found to help me along the way. Most of the time, I think I’m the conductor of the Hot Mess Express, and you know what, WHO CARES?!?! So what if I am!! At least I’m on a train going somewhere and not just sitting in my mental health issues wallowing in them. I’m determined to address them. To get to the real root of what’s causing me to act, think, and respond the way that I do. And you know what?! I’m doing something right, and I can tell because the Tammy facing things in 2025 is handling things a lot better than Tammy 2024 did! Do I get it right all the time, NOT AT ALL! But I give myself grace, and am determined to be the absolute best version of myself!

So what was the first step that I took toward this path? The first step for me was unmasking! Taking the mask off, setting it down, and forcing myself toward the authentic version of myself. I even jumped online and bought a mask and set it on my nightstand as a reminder that the mask wasn’t allowed to go with me anymore. It may seem simple, but waking up every morning and looking at that mask made me face the mission head on that I was on every day. It’s the mask I took with me to my photoshoot and the reason that the tears and vulnerable look in my eyes was so authentic. I was showing all of you what 2025 has been for me by placing in front of the camera, what’s been happening inside me all year long.

So, of Course I Have a Question for You….

Before I end, I want to reflect back to Episode 1 and leave you with that same reflection once again…

What change in your life has shaped you the most and what did it take to get there?

Friend, I encourage you to write it down. Sit with it. Reflection on it. And share it with someone who feels safe. You can even reach out and share it with me. I promise you I would LOVE to hear it!

Because when we unmask ourselves, we make space for others to unmask too.

And that is where real change truly begins.

You Are Invited to the Conversation

If reading this spoke to your heart, I would love for you to join me on the podcast. You can go back to the home page of our website to find the Guest Application Form. If you or someone you know has a store of change, then reach out and share it. Our listeners are ready and eager to hear from you, and I love helping people tell their stories and speak their truths. This table is open to everyone and we welcome the conversations that will unfold.

Your story might be exactly what someone else needs to hear to help them make it through and learn to truly breathe again.

Friend, thank you so much for joining me here today. Until next time…

Remember, change begins within and it starts one heart to heart at a time!